Wednesday, July 30, 2008

July

THIS IS REPOSTED from my myspace blog, figured it could stick here too.

I spent two weekends in a row in San Antonio. The first one was lovely and leisurely, the second one was to attend a funeral for DH's grandmother. Although DH initially was opposed to it, I attended and I brought the children. I simply didn't want to miss it, it was just right to let DH's huge extended S.A. family see these grandchildren as it might be a very long time before they see us again. I did skip the Thursday night rosary so I could stay at the hotel and take a Spanish test online. The free wi-fi at Pear Tree Inn was jumpy and slow, I almost had a heart attack, but I met the deadline with 20 minutes to spare. At the funeral, managing two toddlers in a church wasn't exactly smooth sailing, but I did it with more grace than usual, as I do when people are watching, and ALL by myself, because DH was a pallbearer. I remember that I kept looking down at my lap and thinking, "thank goodness my skirt has a built-in slip!" So I completely missed the substance of the ceremony, but it's not about me, it's all about showing up and representing the beautiful family that wouldn't have existed without "Little Grandma." I was so moved by the emotion displayed by los tios. This death marks a big change in that family.

I was absolutely drained and still wearing heels on the five hour drive home immediately following the reception. But I went out to meet friends in town after arriving home at 10 PM. It really was nice to see them, but going out wasn't my best decision. I couldn't restrain myself, I mean, my phone never fucking rings, so how am I going to miss an opportunity to go hang out with adults who are actually friends of mine, not of DH's? I was tired, the place was terribly loud, few places to sit comfortably, full of young suburbanites and beyond boring if not for the company I roll with. I was dying to suggest another cooler place, but I held my tongue as it was already late and I didn't want to sound controlling or rude to the one local person who had suggested it. Hopefully, I will see everyone again during OU/TX weekend and we'll all go somewhere cool...closer to downtown, like last year.

Victoria's Secret sucks at bra sizing, and I knew this because something has been up with those demi-cups that only work when I am standing still, but I was in denial. I finally went to get a real bra sizing at Nordstrom. Not only have I been wearing the entirely wrong bra size since I quit nursing in 2007, but I have been wearing the wrong band size for likely my whole post-adolesence! And on top of that, I am a HTF size, so you can't just go pick one up. Great!! The ugly and correctly sized bra that the associate "put" me into did fit beautifully, even while touching my toes, but all the cute bras could only be found in popular sizes; 32A, 34B, 36C. WTF. So my choices are to either have alterations or find a good brand and purchase on the internet. Hassles!

Do all two of you remember the weird water guy who doesn't know who the heck I am even though I have been a customer since 2001? Well, I found an opp to call him out, as I love to do, the last time I was in. He asked if I had an account and I said, "uh Yeaaahh, I have only been coming here for oh, 7 years or so.." I smiled big and blinked at him. I was about to remind him that of some of the topics we've discussed in recent years, like The Muppets Show on DVD, Lost, Scrubs, being 8 years younger than me...I was about to remind him that he somehow always knows who DH is, even though DH runs this errand only about once a year! But before I could say anything, he went a little chirpy on me. Said he was sorry several times, said "I know, I know, I am so uhm ...forgetful, I don't know why I just said that, um..." and I suddenly felt bad because obviously he wasn't prepared to volley with me. I tried to mirror him and give him a break by admitting that I was forgetful too and hey, the modern world and all it's technological distractions (forgetting for a moment that the kid is always on two computers behind the counter, one for online game playing, one for watching his favorite shows). He got weird, actually happy, looking me in the eye and eager to converse, he began discussing the amazing adaptability of certain species and biology and how there is a cure out there somewhere for everything, it was a jumbled sequence of sentences. I smiled and listened, adding a quip here and there, very amused, though wondering why I chose today to have opened this can of worms. Why couldn't I just have left it alone, avoided eye contact and told him my account name, talked about the hot weather, said thank you and moved on like every other time? Anyway, I have since decided that this kid is just shy and has no clue how to talk to women. Someday I should write about the Target cashier who told me all about the musical composers for major video games. Smile, nod, tell him I really know nothing about that, yet continue to listen to endless elaboration... It would be great SNL material.

The fam and I also caught a Rough Riders game in Frisco in the lawn seats with another family with young kids. The people in the lawn seats RULE! And I actually drank beer. The bottles served at this ballpark are quite attractive, the children couldn't resist taking the empties and stuffing them down each others shirts and calling themselves, "firemen!" By that time, the people in the lawn already felt like family, so we avoided feeling too shamed for such poor parenting.

My mother was in town for a few days and I took her and my children to visit my cousin and her new baby. I had already spent several hours helping my cousin while she and baby were at the hospital, so I kept this visit short. Mom also watched the boys for an afternoon while I was at the LRC. They ran all over her. She described her day and I laughed upon hearing everything I knew to be their typical boy behavior. You would think she would be prepared for that, but somehow, she is always hoodwinked by my boys!

That's all. Oh and I totally screwed up a deadline in my online class and now I have to make all A's just to pass the stupid thing. boo hiss!

Wednesday, July 2, 2008

retail therapy and ebay woes


It's July already and I am feeling a little stuck in time. I had hoped to have so much more accomplished by now, but I know what happened and why. Without giving too much away, I became seriously sidetracked by an idea and I am amazed at how the situation in my silly-head parallels the situation in June 2007. Maybe I should start catching up on my astrology, something emotional, romantic and insane must be going on with the planets for me when Summer hits!! Words are so powerful. If not for a compliment given to me in a sequence of 16 words, my head would be relatively clear right now. I suppose I am easily flattered when it comes in bold form.

I have been humbled by selling on ebay. I rarely sell on my ebay account. But I became overly ambitious one day two weeks ago as my youngest son's 2nd birthday loomed and I decided to immediately clear away some baby gear by way of ebay auctions. I listed 8 items in one day, while basically placing the kids in front of Disney DVD's and Noggin all day! The house was a mess...okay, well more of a mess than normal. I believe that on that day, I picked up fast food for two meals. Anyway, it was not something I will take on in that way again. Silly me, I didn't realize that USPS shipping costs on large items like an exersaucer is ridiculously expensive. I underestimated the shipping cost, or actually, the dimensions of the box (which I hadn't even found yet). Well, after buying an $8 box, I realized that USPS was not going to work and that I basically could not afford to sell the item to the buyer afterall. I sent her a refund and an apology, with a humble offer to continue with the sale if I could charge her to ship the thing via DHL...which was a great deal on DH's business account, but still twice as much as the buyer was quoted. The buyer still wanted the item, so she paid again with the new amount and I sent it with DH the next business day and it's outta my hair! Now I wait for her to tarnish my rep with some negative feedback. Even though she got this thing for a STEAL! I later find tons of people locally on craigslist who are asking upwards of $50 for this particular exersaucer. I sold it for $12...minus the flippin' $8 BOX!!!!

The good news is, all the other items were shipped within my shipping estimations and a few items sold for better than expected. All in all, I think I made out better than I would have in a garage sale. But the whole shipping mess with all of it was a mess I don't want to do anymore. I will be listing really big items like carseat, stroller and pack-n-play on craigslist, priced to sell. I am seriously tempted to just haul it all to Goodwill as it's just 1/2 mile from my home, but I could use the extra cash.

I am on a mission for black strappy heeled sandals. I realized last month, while dressing nice for an anniversary date, that I had NO black heeled sandals! I donated my old ones probably last Fall. They were hard to part with, as they were adorable and had been such the go-to shoe for so long. I hadn't bought any other black strappies because I hadn't needed anything else! But they were worn, the weather was cold, I rarely go out, so I told myself to let them go and I would be on the lookout for another pair. Then I completely forgot. I have to buy the BEST ones out there, so I went to zappos.com and a few other sites and now have a list of about 5 that were perfect enough to choose from. I also checked out places I never shop, like Ross, Marshalls and TJMaxx, because DH had the kids one afternoon. I didn't find perfect black strappies, but I did find perfect casual brown leather flips and a brown leather pair of wedges.

Then on a whim, after taking ANOTHER look at these fabulous shoes that were being showcased on a blog, I drank a glass of wine and suddenly I just HAD to buy the last pair in my size of powder blue platform stiletto peep-toes at 6pm.com for 1/2 of original retail. I LOVE THEM, but I truly have nowhere to wear them appropriately and nothing that really goes with them. Still, they are beautiful and sexy and bold and they make me happy to look at and imagine myself out in public in them. I'll be 6 inches taller, which I remember from earlier days is an eye-opening experience to little me, a 5'3 girl who generally doesn't have a reason to wear heels anymore.

So what have I learned this summer? That decluttering 4 years of accumulation doesn't happen in a month unless you truly just haul it away in a truck. This process is going to take a while, the whole ebay experience is bittersweet because it did feel awesome to rid myself of a few big items, but the process took time away from my kids and took quite a bit of energy from myself. Babysteps are the way to go. Now, if I could just allow myself to have patience and let go of the crash and burn ambition that seems to come over me in cycles.

~Peace