Do you know who Loung Ung is? In my world lit class, we had to read her book,"First They Killed My Father." This book happened to be chosen as our school's "book in common," so all related English/Comp classes at my college were reading it as well.
So I read the book last month and this woman immediately became my new hero.
I went to her presentation tonight at my school, it was moving, but disappointing for me because it was so crowded (and I know that at least 60% of the kids there were solely there for the extra credit offered by their instructors for going) and I was seated kinda far away. I was thinking this would be a fairly intimate setting, hoping to get a picture with her, etc. But no. And the line for the book signing was a good 20 minutes long, even as the teenaged-student-coordinators rushed us through...telling us to have our books open to the proper page for signing in order to expedite the process, blah blah blah. And of course, I totally think that a good percentage of the kids getting the signatures just want to sell it or something.
Have I mentioned how concrete 18 and 19 year olds are? So many of them simply cannot understand nuance. I know their brains are still undeveloped, I get that, I have been there. But there have got to be sharper teenagers out there somewhere ... just not in my class at my local community college. My world lit class happens to be my only day class, and compared to my night classes, where the average age is probably 25, is like "night and day!" I literally drop my jaw at some of the stupid things that the kids in my lit class say. Of course, I sit in the front, next to an counter-culture 25 year old single mom who is quite smart, if overly analytical and argumentative, she is even less tolerant of the pure stupidity than I, she rolls her eyes at me and glares when the dumb people start in on their nonsense. My poor professor too, geez. Every time we have a writing assignment, she spends half the next class explaining how she graded and why/how to make papers of collegiate level. (obvs, she is not referring to my papers! and don't judge my writing by my blogging, I don't edit these things) She shouldn't have to be telling us how she expects a college level essay to be written, pre-reqs for the class include Composition I and II. When the prof gives examples from student essays that were C or below, I quite honestly don't know how these people graduated from HIGH SCHOOL! And I actually have to make an effort to keep quiet in class because I have noticed that the only people who have really anything to contribute to the literary analysis are me and the 25 y/o girl. So I shut up sometimes to see what other people might have to say and well ... crickets! Again, my poor professor!
By the way, I now have a major crush on men 200-300 years in the grave. Rousseau and Baudelaire. Can I just say....twisted but sexy!
Anyway, Loung Ung. I don't know if I was thinking I would show up at this presentation and be her new BFF or what. I barely got to say, "Thanks for writing this..." at the book signing. Oh well. Very inspiring woman. Very good book. Easy to read too, it's not too long and it's one of those you don't want to put down because it's so heartbreaking, even more so since I am reading it as a mother. I related to it more than I would of a story of say, genocides in less developed nations, because Ung was a child living a nice city life in 1975 when the Khmer Rouge came into power and evacuated everyone. She's my generation too, experienced the 1980's in America, so that helps with relatability as well. I guess I will just have to be her vicarious best friend she doesn't know about, that's how well one feels they know her after reading that book. And the presentation tonight demonstrated her personality as an adult and it was truly just what I expected. Very very cool, inspirational, humble, human, real, bold.
I will keep her in mind while I am researching Armenian Genocide information for an upcoming group research project (yes, the 25 y/o is one of my partners, TG).
Tuesday, October 23, 2007
Thursday, October 18, 2007
caught a break, a busy weekend.
It's been an interesting month, well for me anyway, as I do not get out much anymore.
I got caught up with my academics just in time for a whirlwind of activity during the first week in October. I finally took the boys to have portraits made, my eldest turned 3 in August but he had a big bug bite on his cheek so I delayed. Then procrastination took it's share, so this milestone photography session was a bit overdue. My mother came into town on a Wednesday, a couple of days early to help me watch the boys during "OU/Texas weekend," when a large group of friends (well, okay...the majority are better classified as acquaintances as I have been out of the loop in domestic suburbia for so many years) from OK drive down to Dallas to watch the game and hang out. Thursday, I had a morning class, then I picked up mom at my house, we had a quick bite to eat, then on to pick up my two sons at their Parents-Day-Out program, and we drove into the city for a matinee showing of The Lion King. My youngest made it well through the first act, but after intermission, I had to retreat to the lobby a couple of times. No matter, I caught the same show in 2002 and my intention this time was all about sharing it with my mom and my 3 yr old, who both loved it. After it was over, we hit 5 o'clock traffic as well as congestion cauged by the neighboring State Fair of Texas as we headed back North. I made a quick stop at a Chick-Fil-A drive-thru, dropped mom and the boys off at my house, grabbed my books and headed straight back to the campus for my evening class. I ate my sandwich during the 15 minute drive. I was about 8 minutes late but I was told I didn't miss anything.
No time to rest easy. Friday morning, I gathered up my sons and my mom and we headed right back downtown to attend the State Fair. My last visit was in 2005 and I had a craving for a corny dog and a fresh squeezed lemonade. Unfortunately, the two locations to find each item were not close to one another, so I ate the corny dog upon arrival and grabbed a lemonade just before our departure for the long walk back to the car. The most pleasant part about the fair was the wine garden and 1 oz wine samples (for 2 tickets @ $.50 each). I also appreciated the highly air-conditioned, agricultural expo, where free samples of ice-cream, meats, salsas, etc. could be found. Anyone with two toddlers in tow knew this was a big help. If I had not been with the children, I would have loved to spend more time here, but my mind quickly moved on to the rest of the weekend's agenda. I found myself incredibly sore-muscled after two days worth of hauling toddlers and walking long distances over parking lots and such in Dallas. But this was just the beginning...
Friday evening, DH's flight arrived back in town arrived in time to let him clean up and go back out with me, downtown again, to meet my OK friends in the West End. We had a good time, rather seperately, but good nonetheless. Saturday morning was hectic with obligations to the children, then we had to go back into Dallas in the afternoon to watch the game at a movie theater grill and bar with my friends. Once it was over, we headed home once again. Said goodbye to my mom, as she had to be back in Tulsa for an early morning nursing shift on Sunday. I grazed on some food that DH prepared for supper with the boys, got dressed and headed out to Dallas for the last time to meet the same friends, Saturday night style. I couldn't do a lot with my hair, it was drizzly and humid outside, so I pulled it back in a neat ponytail, making sure my highlights swept nicely. I wore one of my favorite new dresses for only the second time, I knew this would be the last time I would be seen in it until maybe next Spring and I wanted to make sure I looked as good as possible in it in case someone took pictures. Virtually no one did, but read on...
Saturday night I had arranged to pick up a girl (who is an OK native, but lives here and is also a part of this social circle) and a guy (a cousin of an OK friend, who was currently carless) on the way, I really didn't either of them very well, but they provided nice company nonetheless. We went to an upscale bar right in the heart of downtown that used to be called something else about 7 years ago. I found that this fact alone was making me feel old. The rest of the group from OK (we're talking around 30 people in this crew alone by 11 PM) met the three of us there, I realized that the members of the group has really changed since I was first introduced to this circle a good 11 years ago. Bottom line is, while some of these faces have been showing up at OU/TX weekend for a few years, there was only one person out who I knew really well. I could refer to him as the "social chairperson" of this circle, as it literally revolves around his good-natured friendship and outgoing personality. But he was busy entertaining his entourage and anyway, I already felt like I was caught up with him convo-wise. I was bored. I decided to go walk around on my own and create some drama. I found one of the "chairperson's" girl friends with the Posh-spice haircut, walking by after she had disappeared a while before, I overheard her say that she had been hanging out in VIP with some guys. I immediately grabbed her elbow and frankly told her, "I am following you." She laughed and drunkly told her much-older girl friend that they were going to "show me how it's done!" I was a little humiliated by this, but I remembered she didn't know me, she was new to this group relatively speaking of course, so I quickly brushed it off knowing I would be on my own once I was introduced to whomever had invited her to VIP anyway. It was going to be worth it, I was so bored with the company I had brought. I quickly made sure that the girl and the guy I came with had people to talk to. She did, as she found a friend from high school among the OK crew and I encouraged her to be bold and go talk to him. And the guy I had carpooled was doing fine on his own, he was "chairperson's" cousin anyway, so I didn't feel obligated to hang out with him.
"Posh" led me over to VIP and I had a great night from there on. The VIP table was occupied by three polo players from Houston, aged 21, 25, and 30 interestingly, who were also in town for the OU/TX game. Posh seemed originally interested in the 30 yr old, but it was apparent to me that her interest was more about being at a VIP table and getting the benefit of free drinks...as the table included bottle service. The older girlfriend had some older, cigar smoking, sweet-looking, middle-eastern man dancing with her all night, I didn't confirm, but I don't think he was company of the polo players, just another VIP guest. The 21 year old (who was cute, but looked more like he was 18) was seated next to me, so we talked a little. He was vague to me, I figured he was either shy or unfriendly or simply uninterested in me, I just couldn't pin it. Later, I just decided he was just kind of young and awkward. Both the 30 yr old and the 25 yr old were hospitable and friendly. I got along very well with the 25 yr old. Though I think he noticed I was wearing a ring too late into the conversation. I have to give him credit for still appearing interested even after learning I had two young children. After he brought up the topic of my marriage, the conversation seemed to sort of cool off into awkwardness during the last 15 minutes before closing time. He and the 30 yr old then filled gaps in conversation with observations about the two weird girls.....Posh and her older girl friend. All in all, OU/Texas weekend was an offbeat one this year, yet the conversation in that last hour was something I will remember for a while. I still can't believe I was so alone at a bar. Even when I was single, this was 8 years ago, I was always surrounded by friends and people I knew. This night was like tagging along with tourists, it didn't even feel like I was in my own city. Except that my driving was excellent and I didn't get lost once.
BTW, I never had more than two drinks each night. Next time I will cap it at one. While I wasn't too hungover, the weekend on a whole took me at least three days to recover from. I was sore from hauling the children around, tired from staying out late twice in a row, fatigued from poor diet and just all the driving back and forth from Dallas to the 'burbs.
The next weekend was supposed to be agenda-less. I forgot that another friend from home was coming into town, for a speech pathology conference. She had recently decided not to stay at my house, out of fear she would get lost driving to the conference inside the hotel. I had been disappointed about her choice to stay elsewhere in the beginning, but it was actually a relief, the house was still in chaos since all the chores had been forsaken the previous weekend. DH gave me time to go study at my school's LRC on Saturday, then later that evening, he watched the boys while I picked up my friend at her hotel to go out to dinner. I made the mistake of suggesting a trendy sushi place, though my first choice had been a new turkish restaurant in Deep Ellum, she picked the sushi place. And she ended up really hating on it all night. It's a little bit of a snubby place, overpriced with average service and filled with a few too many wannabes. I tend to just enjoy the experience, but being tolerant is not her style. Due to the environment and the subjects of our conversations (like her sheer annoyance at being mistaken by a tourist in her hotel for a Dallas Cowboys Cheerleader--just sucks to be that attractive at 32, eh? pleeze), the whole experience was just negative for me as I held my tongue and squinted my eyes and nodded through it. I drove her back to her hotel and then back home, feeling really down the whole way at the recognition that maybe this isn't my most like-minded friend after all these years.
DH was invited at the last minute to go to our friend's house to watch the Cowboy's v. Patriots on Sunday. Everyone in this circle has kids, so of course, the whole family was invited. I still needed to study, but DH only offered to take the 3 yr old because with two kids, he knew he wouldn't get to watch the game. This left me no option at all to study, as the 1 yr old is more work than the 3 yr old anyway. I decided to forgoe studying and just go as a family. I had a great time anyway, I really love talking to all the wives and hanging out with the kids, age range of the 10+ kids was 0-5, I believe. Needless to say, I was quite busy supervising my children the whole time, as there was a large variety of outdoor and indoor things to do at this friend's large house so I didn't get to watch the game at all. Begs me to wonder, would DH have managed only being able to watch a little bit of the game if he had to take the kids by himself? There was one man there whose wife had other obligations and he was there with his two little ones, he certainly missed a lot of the game, but he was okay, as the rest of the us collectively helped each other with all our kids. Could I have demanded my study time?
Now I am at the end of another school week. I was way behind on my studies, but I caught a break. Two actually. It turns out, I will have no penalties for turning in one assignment late. The other assignment I thought was due today is actually due next week, so I have extra time to actually complete the darned thing. AND blog this, please forgive the run-on sentences and lack of good editing...that stuff takes more time I can't carve out right now.
I have so much more to blog about but I will leave it here for now. Next time: the significance of TJ, the boys-Halloween, observations in community college as a 32 yr old SAHM who feels 25 again.
Peace!
I got caught up with my academics just in time for a whirlwind of activity during the first week in October. I finally took the boys to have portraits made, my eldest turned 3 in August but he had a big bug bite on his cheek so I delayed. Then procrastination took it's share, so this milestone photography session was a bit overdue. My mother came into town on a Wednesday, a couple of days early to help me watch the boys during "OU/Texas weekend," when a large group of friends (well, okay...the majority are better classified as acquaintances as I have been out of the loop in domestic suburbia for so many years) from OK drive down to Dallas to watch the game and hang out. Thursday, I had a morning class, then I picked up mom at my house, we had a quick bite to eat, then on to pick up my two sons at their Parents-Day-Out program, and we drove into the city for a matinee showing of The Lion King. My youngest made it well through the first act, but after intermission, I had to retreat to the lobby a couple of times. No matter, I caught the same show in 2002 and my intention this time was all about sharing it with my mom and my 3 yr old, who both loved it. After it was over, we hit 5 o'clock traffic as well as congestion cauged by the neighboring State Fair of Texas as we headed back North. I made a quick stop at a Chick-Fil-A drive-thru, dropped mom and the boys off at my house, grabbed my books and headed straight back to the campus for my evening class. I ate my sandwich during the 15 minute drive. I was about 8 minutes late but I was told I didn't miss anything.
No time to rest easy. Friday morning, I gathered up my sons and my mom and we headed right back downtown to attend the State Fair. My last visit was in 2005 and I had a craving for a corny dog and a fresh squeezed lemonade. Unfortunately, the two locations to find each item were not close to one another, so I ate the corny dog upon arrival and grabbed a lemonade just before our departure for the long walk back to the car. The most pleasant part about the fair was the wine garden and 1 oz wine samples (for 2 tickets @ $.50 each). I also appreciated the highly air-conditioned, agricultural expo, where free samples of ice-cream, meats, salsas, etc. could be found. Anyone with two toddlers in tow knew this was a big help. If I had not been with the children, I would have loved to spend more time here, but my mind quickly moved on to the rest of the weekend's agenda. I found myself incredibly sore-muscled after two days worth of hauling toddlers and walking long distances over parking lots and such in Dallas. But this was just the beginning...
Friday evening, DH's flight arrived back in town arrived in time to let him clean up and go back out with me, downtown again, to meet my OK friends in the West End. We had a good time, rather seperately, but good nonetheless. Saturday morning was hectic with obligations to the children, then we had to go back into Dallas in the afternoon to watch the game at a movie theater grill and bar with my friends. Once it was over, we headed home once again. Said goodbye to my mom, as she had to be back in Tulsa for an early morning nursing shift on Sunday. I grazed on some food that DH prepared for supper with the boys, got dressed and headed out to Dallas for the last time to meet the same friends, Saturday night style. I couldn't do a lot with my hair, it was drizzly and humid outside, so I pulled it back in a neat ponytail, making sure my highlights swept nicely. I wore one of my favorite new dresses for only the second time, I knew this would be the last time I would be seen in it until maybe next Spring and I wanted to make sure I looked as good as possible in it in case someone took pictures. Virtually no one did, but read on...
Saturday night I had arranged to pick up a girl (who is an OK native, but lives here and is also a part of this social circle) and a guy (a cousin of an OK friend, who was currently carless) on the way, I really didn't either of them very well, but they provided nice company nonetheless. We went to an upscale bar right in the heart of downtown that used to be called something else about 7 years ago. I found that this fact alone was making me feel old. The rest of the group from OK (we're talking around 30 people in this crew alone by 11 PM) met the three of us there, I realized that the members of the group has really changed since I was first introduced to this circle a good 11 years ago. Bottom line is, while some of these faces have been showing up at OU/TX weekend for a few years, there was only one person out who I knew really well. I could refer to him as the "social chairperson" of this circle, as it literally revolves around his good-natured friendship and outgoing personality. But he was busy entertaining his entourage and anyway, I already felt like I was caught up with him convo-wise. I was bored. I decided to go walk around on my own and create some drama. I found one of the "chairperson's" girl friends with the Posh-spice haircut, walking by after she had disappeared a while before, I overheard her say that she had been hanging out in VIP with some guys. I immediately grabbed her elbow and frankly told her, "I am following you." She laughed and drunkly told her much-older girl friend that they were going to "show me how it's done!" I was a little humiliated by this, but I remembered she didn't know me, she was new to this group relatively speaking of course, so I quickly brushed it off knowing I would be on my own once I was introduced to whomever had invited her to VIP anyway. It was going to be worth it, I was so bored with the company I had brought. I quickly made sure that the girl and the guy I came with had people to talk to. She did, as she found a friend from high school among the OK crew and I encouraged her to be bold and go talk to him. And the guy I had carpooled was doing fine on his own, he was "chairperson's" cousin anyway, so I didn't feel obligated to hang out with him.
"Posh" led me over to VIP and I had a great night from there on. The VIP table was occupied by three polo players from Houston, aged 21, 25, and 30 interestingly, who were also in town for the OU/TX game. Posh seemed originally interested in the 30 yr old, but it was apparent to me that her interest was more about being at a VIP table and getting the benefit of free drinks...as the table included bottle service. The older girlfriend had some older, cigar smoking, sweet-looking, middle-eastern man dancing with her all night, I didn't confirm, but I don't think he was company of the polo players, just another VIP guest. The 21 year old (who was cute, but looked more like he was 18) was seated next to me, so we talked a little. He was vague to me, I figured he was either shy or unfriendly or simply uninterested in me, I just couldn't pin it. Later, I just decided he was just kind of young and awkward. Both the 30 yr old and the 25 yr old were hospitable and friendly. I got along very well with the 25 yr old. Though I think he noticed I was wearing a ring too late into the conversation. I have to give him credit for still appearing interested even after learning I had two young children. After he brought up the topic of my marriage, the conversation seemed to sort of cool off into awkwardness during the last 15 minutes before closing time. He and the 30 yr old then filled gaps in conversation with observations about the two weird girls.....Posh and her older girl friend. All in all, OU/Texas weekend was an offbeat one this year, yet the conversation in that last hour was something I will remember for a while. I still can't believe I was so alone at a bar. Even when I was single, this was 8 years ago, I was always surrounded by friends and people I knew. This night was like tagging along with tourists, it didn't even feel like I was in my own city. Except that my driving was excellent and I didn't get lost once.
BTW, I never had more than two drinks each night. Next time I will cap it at one. While I wasn't too hungover, the weekend on a whole took me at least three days to recover from. I was sore from hauling the children around, tired from staying out late twice in a row, fatigued from poor diet and just all the driving back and forth from Dallas to the 'burbs.
The next weekend was supposed to be agenda-less. I forgot that another friend from home was coming into town, for a speech pathology conference. She had recently decided not to stay at my house, out of fear she would get lost driving to the conference inside the hotel. I had been disappointed about her choice to stay elsewhere in the beginning, but it was actually a relief, the house was still in chaos since all the chores had been forsaken the previous weekend. DH gave me time to go study at my school's LRC on Saturday, then later that evening, he watched the boys while I picked up my friend at her hotel to go out to dinner. I made the mistake of suggesting a trendy sushi place, though my first choice had been a new turkish restaurant in Deep Ellum, she picked the sushi place. And she ended up really hating on it all night. It's a little bit of a snubby place, overpriced with average service and filled with a few too many wannabes. I tend to just enjoy the experience, but being tolerant is not her style. Due to the environment and the subjects of our conversations (like her sheer annoyance at being mistaken by a tourist in her hotel for a Dallas Cowboys Cheerleader--just sucks to be that attractive at 32, eh? pleeze), the whole experience was just negative for me as I held my tongue and squinted my eyes and nodded through it. I drove her back to her hotel and then back home, feeling really down the whole way at the recognition that maybe this isn't my most like-minded friend after all these years.
DH was invited at the last minute to go to our friend's house to watch the Cowboy's v. Patriots on Sunday. Everyone in this circle has kids, so of course, the whole family was invited. I still needed to study, but DH only offered to take the 3 yr old because with two kids, he knew he wouldn't get to watch the game. This left me no option at all to study, as the 1 yr old is more work than the 3 yr old anyway. I decided to forgoe studying and just go as a family. I had a great time anyway, I really love talking to all the wives and hanging out with the kids, age range of the 10+ kids was 0-5, I believe. Needless to say, I was quite busy supervising my children the whole time, as there was a large variety of outdoor and indoor things to do at this friend's large house so I didn't get to watch the game at all. Begs me to wonder, would DH have managed only being able to watch a little bit of the game if he had to take the kids by himself? There was one man there whose wife had other obligations and he was there with his two little ones, he certainly missed a lot of the game, but he was okay, as the rest of the us collectively helped each other with all our kids. Could I have demanded my study time?
Now I am at the end of another school week. I was way behind on my studies, but I caught a break. Two actually. It turns out, I will have no penalties for turning in one assignment late. The other assignment I thought was due today is actually due next week, so I have extra time to actually complete the darned thing. AND blog this, please forgive the run-on sentences and lack of good editing...that stuff takes more time I can't carve out right now.
I have so much more to blog about but I will leave it here for now. Next time: the significance of TJ, the boys-Halloween, observations in community college as a 32 yr old SAHM who feels 25 again.
Peace!
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