What is 32

My school semester is coming to an end and I am looking forward to the break. I have been studying some troubling subjects! Genocide in my World Lit class, doom in general in my Environmental Sci class. Some of it is hard to think about, in particular, Armenian Genocide. Gosh.

So I am very ready to buy gifts for my siblings and family, as well as myself. I ordered a cute blue coat and a pair of Rocketdog sneakers online the other day. I haven't bought a new coat in about seven years. Which makes me feel old. grr.

What is 32 anyway? Am I old? Certainly some 32 yr olds look old and woefully unhip. Is this what I am when you strip off the makeup and the minimal amount of fashionable/current wardrobe? I long to be 28 again. That was the year I got pregnant. Now, two children later I truly feel like I have aged 10 years AND like this was the fastest 4 years of my life!

I think I talk about age too much with my classmates in one of my night classes. It's a lab class, so there is a lot of interaction. The 4 I talk to the most are 22, 25, 26. I find myself comparing aspects of my life to theirs in a self-deprecating way and pointing out the difference that 6+ years makes. I can't help it, I try not to do this too much, but it truly amuses me.

I will actually miss my classmates a lot, I doubt they will miss me, because they actually have lives (people who call them up all the time during class, lots of friends, jobs). I don't have much of an adult social life outside of school. DH and I meet up with friends about once every few months, and generally, because he has a ton more local friends than I, it's with his friends anyway. I am so alienated. I know this will change in the future, when my kids are a little older, when I get back into the workforce...but waiting sucks and I am wishing I could capitalize on my age while I am still under 35, if that makes any sense.

Meanwhile, I am very happy this week because my youngest son (16 months old) is FINALLY sleeping through the night. I completely weaned him from nursing last week, amazing to me how weaning just works like a sleep charm for breastfeeding moms. He took a little longer than his older brother did on the sleeping through the night thing, but thankfully, he has always been much easier than his older brother was to soothe back to sleep, so it was really never an issue.

I bought new bras. They are 2 cup sizes smaller than the ones I bought in between pregnancies in 2005. There was no point in following the "check bra size every 6 months" during this time. I have been either pregnant or breastfeeding (I was still nursing my oldest when I became pregnant with the youngest) since late 2003! This is the first time in THREE years that my body has belonged to me completely. Anyway, the difference is amazing, I look completely different in snug clothing now. I cannot wait to buy more new bras.

I am still thinking about blogging about some issues I mentioned before. I thought about the history one for some time and the other night it just spilled out. I have a lot more to dish about Julie G., as one could imagine, so this note will serve as my reminder later.

Peace!