My 1990's History.

I am proud to say that I have an amazing memory of what happened when. For example, I remember the month and year (April 1997) that I introduced one of my best friends to the guy who would eventually become her husband...and she doesn't. She actually gets the years mixed up. Years ago, she was claiming that she met him "over ten years ago," and of course, I corrected her. She just doesn't remember dates, even though she will try to argue...even against times when I had kept journals and orderly photo albums and I know without any doubt when something occurred, she will still argue [something else] that "it just couldn't have been 2002, that was like 8 years ago!!" And although she keeps herself and her home impeccably organized on the surface, her best photos are stored in one album, all out of order. However, another best friend of mine is almost just like me in this respect, but I have determined that it's because she and I are both Virgos, and it's one of the few traits we share. Most people I know just do not care when something happened, it's the past, so whatev, right?

I really care. And it helps me remember where I took wrong turns. Back to the previous blog we go.

I do this periodically, it's a mania I suppose, as if I am going to forget, I write down years and months and what I was doing when. Often I will add a big emotional event as well, even if it was all internal. Here I will stick to the surface level events. It starts after high school, though truly, the trend began much much earlier.

1994. Spring of Sr. year. Broke up with long term boyfriend. Started working at Hooters as a hostess. Met lots of friends at my school and through my BFF who went to a new school. Dated a lot of guys all summer. Quit Hooters, was unemployed, living at home on an allowance with no responsibilities. Started community college, dropped out within a month because I slept in an skipped class. Went out almost every night of the week with my girlfriends.

1995. Began work at Applebee's. Enrolled again in community college both that Spring and Fall semester, but now that I both work AND go out all the time, skipping class was even more tempting, so I dropped out again. "Dated" a lot of cute guys, went out a lot, even more than before with the girlfriends. Became enchanted/distracted by a guy who wasn't right for me. Was arrested for DUI on Thanksgiving Eve.

1996. I didn't bother enrolling in school. Though I did make loose plans with my mother to attend a university...but "we" didn't plan properly and I missed a deadline for something and gave up. Drove for several months with a breathalyzer in my car. No matter, friends would pick me up to go out and I still went out a lot. The breathalyzer had malfunction issues, as it was relatively new technology and out of fear it would leave me stranded, I insisted that the installation company remove it. Therefore, my license was immediately revoked. I took the risk and continued myself to only driving to work...carefully. I got pulled over once for speeding, but the officer let me go, though he wrote the speeding ticket. I hung out with different friends than before now, friends who preferred clubs over college bars. These friends helped me get a fake id and I stopped hanging out with the girls from the previous year. Worked a lot to pay off that fine though, so there were actually weekends that I didn't go out. I did not date a lot this year, I was still hung up on the wrong guy from 1995. Started work at Outback Steakhouse and I quit Applebee's. In the Fall of 1996, I was "assaulted" at a party in my sleep (at least 10 of us crashed there) by a male coworker I naively considered to be a friend. I told my manager what happened, he took my side and convinced the owner to transfer him to the Outback across town. Was quite traumatized, though I knew it could have been worse. The whole restaurant staff seemed to know what happened and I think a few thought I had instigated and over-dramatized this incident.

1997. DUI drama over, I continued to meet new friends. Mom had enough of me and wanted me out of the house, coincidentally, a cool female coworker needed a replacement roommate. I am 22 years old this year and it was so great to move out. My roommate was 25 at the time and I became fast friends with her older friends as well. One of our mutual male friends was being transferred with his job to either Dallas or Phoenix that summer...because everybody who likes a social life gets sick of Tulsa eventually, he asked if anyone wanted to move with him. My roommate and I volunteered. BTW, college was a distant memory, something I told myself I could do later. After I felt I had partied enough, I guess. My roommate and I both secured jobs with Outback in the Dallas area and the three of us moved in July 1997. All summer, I was dating Smith, a pretty cool, and unbelievably good-looking guy who still lived in Tulsa. Though since Spring, I had been taking long distance phone calls from a 21 yr old guy from Denver that I met on AOL. I'll refer to him as "TJ." Smith had enough of our long-distance relationship and had undoubtedly noticed my emotional distance, because by mid-Fall, he effectively dumped me. THIS IS THE ONLY TIME I HAVE ACTUALLY BEEN BROKEN UP WITH and truly, my ego was bruised, but I was not at all heartbroken over it as I had not been in love with Smith. All other heartaches were caused by guys who just weren't my boyfriend in the first place, or rejected me, whatever you call it. TJ and I were very close, but he was afraid to just fly to Dallas to meet me in person. Then TJ's dad finally got tired of the phone bills after TJ had dropped out of college (to work for his dad) and moved back home. TJ called every now and then, but got annoyed hearing about guys I was dating. We loosely kept up over email for the next few years, in between other relationships.

1998. In the Spring, call me a player. I dated a lot of guys, I broke some hearts, I was probably insensitive, I was probably arrogant. I drank really heaviliy. No more beer at little bars for me, my roommate and I only went to the most happening clubs and we were VIP all the way, no waiting in line, I drank Stoli Citron on the rocks. For my birthday in September, I went to visit my girlfriend Whit who had recently moved to Los Angeles. I had a blast and I longed to save up enough money to move out there with her. I started my first office job at an allergy clinic as an appointment receptionist, I still waited tables at night at Outback. I stopped going out as much with friends in Dallas. Three of my closest friends had boyfriends anyway, so social life was slowing down. I had not made enough new friends in Dallas, so I just worked and stayed home a lot. I was tired all the time and barely eating. *Read blog about Nart.

1999. The year started off in serious party mode. I was working a lot, I originally wanted to save up money and move to L.A. with Whit. Later, I even quit both of my jobs and tried exotic dancing for a little while, about 5 months. I have no problem admitting that I was awful at it, I did not know what I was doing and it made me very uncomfortable. I ended up only going in about twice a month, just enough to make money to pay the bills and eat. TJ had announced he would be visiting Dallas because he had a friend in the area who went to college here. But the time came and passed and he had not contacted me. Later when he was back at home, he claimed he was too scared to call me and risk being rejected upon meeting me. I was annoyed and had became disenchanted with TJ over the year anyway, he was beginning to sound bitter and judgmental when we rarely spoke by phone. I was happily single, I had lost so much weight during the Nart months that I was looking really good and I could wear anything and not look suggestive. My friends were single again, I was meeting a few new friends too. A bunch of us went to Mardi Gras and unfortunately I was filmed by GGW (which was Banned From TV at the time, I believe). Yep, they caught me on camera, I did not sign anything or have any idea of the consequences, but I would end up one of their video covers and in one of their first commercials a year later. Back in Dallas, I had met and started dating Gonzo in February...he fell in love fast, I was hard-to-get, he was reliable and loved me so, and offered me my life on a platter. He was only 26, but he proposed to me after dating for only about 5 months. We were married in Las Vegas before knowing each other 6 months. I quit dancing and didn't have a job all summer. Gonzo made me sell my old, but paid-off car and leased a brand new Jetta for me instead. For a month, I worked as an admin sale asst with a friend in electronic sales, but it was a bad company and we both quit. By Fall, Gonzo had introduced me to a recruiter who found a telecom position for me. The job was fun and the salary was more than I had ever made, so I was happy and I had no desire to go back to college at this moment in my life. I mentioned it to Gonzo as one of my future goals, he said, "later..." After the mess that was 1998 and early 1999, I finally felt like my life was on track.

Oh what little I knew about the economy at this point in my life.

Disconnected footnote: This was the last year I celebrated New Year's Eve, we went to Deep Ellum by shuttle bus with a large group to bring in the millenium.

And this is where I will leave it for now. 2000-2007 can wait.