I started working out in a real way for the first time in my nearly 33 years of life and I am truly loving it. The closest I came to working out regularly before now was in 2005. I had joined Lifetime Fitness Center with DH, attended a few yoga classes over three months and did some cardio on the stairmaster a handful of times and visited the pool with my kids once. It was a pathetic waste of money! I figured out I was pregnant with surprise baby #2 when I was three months along and realized that pregnancy had been secretly sabotaging my motivation and energy. We cancelled that membership anyway. It was terribly expensive even at their charter rate and the closest location was still a haul.
When I became pregnant with baby #2, I had JUST hit my pre-baby weight and I wasn't really concerned about my weight to begin with. I assumed it would all melt off without effort within a year the way it did with baby #1. It started to, most likely due to extended breastfeeding. But after I finally weaned completely, a good 10 pounds crept back on and stayed. That was nearly 8 months ago and here I am, still a good 10-15 over what I think I should be.
So I joined LA Fitness and tagged along with DH most times so I wouldn't look totally stupid trying to figure out how to use all the neat machines. BTW, I prefer machines because I don't like hanging out over by the free weights where all the men are and because I like that the machines provide some sort of guidance about proper use.
My main goal is to get skinny arms again, though I need toning throughout! I know cardio is key here, so I was happy to find an eliptical machine I liked (I was always too afraid to try those things) because I truly hate running on treadmills because it makes my boobs bounce too much and after nearly three years of my life spent breastfeeding, that's the last thing my girls need! I have now learned to use most of the machines for my arms and abs goal and I feel comfortable showing up by myself. I tried a yoga class too, it wasn't as good as my previous college yoga courses, but it did leave my thighs sore...and ill-prepared for what came next.
DH convinced me to meet him at a spin cycle class claiming it was the best cardio workout. We were running late and I called his cell to tell him we should probably just work out and skip the class. He insisted that it was no big deal to be late. I arrived five minutes late, ahead of DH. The instructor immediately noticed I was new and came over to me to make the cycle adjustments for me. Um, embarrassing! But I liked her right away for helping me and being so cool about it. DH showed up and got up on the cycle next to me. Warm up was over and standing cycling began and I could not do it. I tried to stand and cycle a few rotations, but had to sit down right away. I thought maybe it was all in my head, I played around with the resistance lever and I tried again a few seconds later, but I had to sit down! I could not believe all these people in class were doing something I could not do! Even one obese woman in front of me could stand and cycle, but I could NOT. I tried a third time and my thighs were trembling. So I surrendered and continued to cycle while seated. I made it through the class without having to give up, but wow, a lesson in humility for sure. Although I was having no part of all the instructors commands, and I think she understood because she even told the class that she could not stand in her first spin class either, I thought she was totally motivating and I will be back in this class again! Maybe after I am in better shape...for my ego's sake anyway.
I emailed a good guy friend who is 38 going on 28 and in perfect body-building shape and has worked as a personal trainer. I had to ask him what was his best advice to get skinny arms. He gave me great tips, told me he knew I had a strong mind and could do it, and then told me that I didn't look bad anyway and that whatever I did would just be "polish" on me. Isn't that so sweet of someone to say?
Here I come!
Thursday, August 21, 2008
Tuesday, August 5, 2008
Humility
In early July, I signed myself up, catching one of the last open spots, in a one month long, online Spanish course I needed. I ignored my screaming intuition that this might be too much and felt good that I would be getting this out of the way before Fall. Then, within the first week, DH wasn't much available for me to study and I didn't get around to any actual book cracking until Wednesday. The professor sent an email to the whole class letting everyone know that the first test deadline had been extended by one day. Well, I thought she meant one day on top of what date was showing on the assignments due page and because of this, I missed the deadline. If she had just left the deadline as it was, I would have struggled through and taken my test on that day. I was devastated because this test was 20% of my grade and based on the one graded assignment I already had completed, there was no way I could possibly do better than a C by this point. I figured I would have to eat humble pie, so I decided to try to get full credit on all the future assignments and take my C in stride. But then I screwed up again, on the last test, instead of watching the real clock for the 10PM deadline, I watched the test window countdown clock to track my time left on the test. It logged me out at 10:15 and I couldn't believe I hadn't realized it was past ten already. I stupidly assumed that the countdown clock was programmed to include the deadline...it wasn't. So since I hadn't given "final" answers on several of my answers yet, I got a D on that test. So I dropped the class today. I feel all twisted up inside. I guess I should count myself lucky that I am not using financial aid, because I know that a student can lose benefits if classes are withdrawn from, but I can't help but feel completely drained for all the work I have done, all $206 I spent on this class, only to have it be a complete waste. A friend told me I need to quit being so hard on myself, but I keep thinking that maybe I am not hard enough on myself, and this is why I haven't accomplished much and I am about to turn 33. I feel like I am running on a hamster wheel.
It's hot. We have had several 100 degree days in a row already. I definitely love summer over winter, but I am looking forward to September weather. It's still hot here then, but less physically exhausting. I also have flabby arms lately, so I kinda look forward to hiding them with sweaters and long sleeves. I realized sometime this year that it's been well over five years since I laid out by a pool alone...so I plan to do so at my neighborhood pool in the mid-morning through afternoons just as soon as those boys are back in Mother's Day Out!
Since the rest of my summer will not be at the library studying Spanish, I have a loose plan to check out those online guitar lesson guides and declutter some more.
I am planning my first son's 4th birthday and DH is letting me go a little expensive this year. I have scheduled the party to be held at a ranch with petting zoo barn, huge mini golf course and pony rides. I think it's going to be a huge hit!
I want to lose 15 lbs. I have gained about 8 lbs since last summer. 15 is probably more than I need to lose, but I am just dying to be skinny again. I have been at this weight for a while now, I was only about 10 lbs lighter before children, but every time I look in the mirror, I feel like I am looking at someone else and someone older. DH said he would add the boys and I to his gym membership. I just hope I start showing up. :)
It's hot. We have had several 100 degree days in a row already. I definitely love summer over winter, but I am looking forward to September weather. It's still hot here then, but less physically exhausting. I also have flabby arms lately, so I kinda look forward to hiding them with sweaters and long sleeves. I realized sometime this year that it's been well over five years since I laid out by a pool alone...so I plan to do so at my neighborhood pool in the mid-morning through afternoons just as soon as those boys are back in Mother's Day Out!
Since the rest of my summer will not be at the library studying Spanish, I have a loose plan to check out those online guitar lesson guides and declutter some more.
I am planning my first son's 4th birthday and DH is letting me go a little expensive this year. I have scheduled the party to be held at a ranch with petting zoo barn, huge mini golf course and pony rides. I think it's going to be a huge hit!
I want to lose 15 lbs. I have gained about 8 lbs since last summer. 15 is probably more than I need to lose, but I am just dying to be skinny again. I have been at this weight for a while now, I was only about 10 lbs lighter before children, but every time I look in the mirror, I feel like I am looking at someone else and someone older. DH said he would add the boys and I to his gym membership. I just hope I start showing up. :)
Wednesday, July 30, 2008
July
THIS IS REPOSTED from my myspace blog, figured it could stick here too.
I spent two weekends in a row in San Antonio. The first one was lovely and leisurely, the second one was to attend a funeral for DH's grandmother. Although DH initially was opposed to it, I attended and I brought the children. I simply didn't want to miss it, it was just right to let DH's huge extended S.A. family see these grandchildren as it might be a very long time before they see us again. I did skip the Thursday night rosary so I could stay at the hotel and take a Spanish test online. The free wi-fi at Pear Tree Inn was jumpy and slow, I almost had a heart attack, but I met the deadline with 20 minutes to spare. At the funeral, managing two toddlers in a church wasn't exactly smooth sailing, but I did it with more grace than usual, as I do when people are watching, and ALL by myself, because DH was a pallbearer. I remember that I kept looking down at my lap and thinking, "thank goodness my skirt has a built-in slip!" So I completely missed the substance of the ceremony, but it's not about me, it's all about showing up and representing the beautiful family that wouldn't have existed without "Little Grandma." I was so moved by the emotion displayed by los tios. This death marks a big change in that family.
I was absolutely drained and still wearing heels on the five hour drive home immediately following the reception. But I went out to meet friends in town after arriving home at 10 PM. It really was nice to see them, but going out wasn't my best decision. I couldn't restrain myself, I mean, my phone never fucking rings, so how am I going to miss an opportunity to go hang out with adults who are actually friends of mine, not of DH's? I was tired, the place was terribly loud, few places to sit comfortably, full of young suburbanites and beyond boring if not for the company I roll with. I was dying to suggest another cooler place, but I held my tongue as it was already late and I didn't want to sound controlling or rude to the one local person who had suggested it. Hopefully, I will see everyone again during OU/TX weekend and we'll all go somewhere cool...closer to downtown, like last year.
Victoria's Secret sucks at bra sizing, and I knew this because something has been up with those demi-cups that only work when I am standing still, but I was in denial. I finally went to get a real bra sizing at Nordstrom. Not only have I been wearing the entirely wrong bra size since I quit nursing in 2007, but I have been wearing the wrong band size for likely my whole post-adolesence! And on top of that, I am a HTF size, so you can't just go pick one up. Great!! The ugly and correctly sized bra that the associate "put" me into did fit beautifully, even while touching my toes, but all the cute bras could only be found in popular sizes; 32A, 34B, 36C. WTF. So my choices are to either have alterations or find a good brand and purchase on the internet. Hassles!
Do all two of you remember the weird water guy who doesn't know who the heck I am even though I have been a customer since 2001? Well, I found an opp to call him out, as I love to do, the last time I was in. He asked if I had an account and I said, "uh Yeaaahh, I have only been coming here for oh, 7 years or so.." I smiled big and blinked at him. I was about to remind him that of some of the topics we've discussed in recent years, like The Muppets Show on DVD, Lost, Scrubs, being 8 years younger than me...I was about to remind him that he somehow always knows who DH is, even though DH runs this errand only about once a year! But before I could say anything, he went a little chirpy on me. Said he was sorry several times, said "I know, I know, I am so uhm ...forgetful, I don't know why I just said that, um..." and I suddenly felt bad because obviously he wasn't prepared to volley with me. I tried to mirror him and give him a break by admitting that I was forgetful too and hey, the modern world and all it's technological distractions (forgetting for a moment that the kid is always on two computers behind the counter, one for online game playing, one for watching his favorite shows). He got weird, actually happy, looking me in the eye and eager to converse, he began discussing the amazing adaptability of certain species and biology and how there is a cure out there somewhere for everything, it was a jumbled sequence of sentences. I smiled and listened, adding a quip here and there, very amused, though wondering why I chose today to have opened this can of worms. Why couldn't I just have left it alone, avoided eye contact and told him my account name, talked about the hot weather, said thank you and moved on like every other time? Anyway, I have since decided that this kid is just shy and has no clue how to talk to women. Someday I should write about the Target cashier who told me all about the musical composers for major video games. Smile, nod, tell him I really know nothing about that, yet continue to listen to endless elaboration... It would be great SNL material.
The fam and I also caught a Rough Riders game in Frisco in the lawn seats with another family with young kids. The people in the lawn seats RULE! And I actually drank beer. The bottles served at this ballpark are quite attractive, the children couldn't resist taking the empties and stuffing them down each others shirts and calling themselves, "firemen!" By that time, the people in the lawn already felt like family, so we avoided feeling too shamed for such poor parenting.
My mother was in town for a few days and I took her and my children to visit my cousin and her new baby. I had already spent several hours helping my cousin while she and baby were at the hospital, so I kept this visit short. Mom also watched the boys for an afternoon while I was at the LRC. They ran all over her. She described her day and I laughed upon hearing everything I knew to be their typical boy behavior. You would think she would be prepared for that, but somehow, she is always hoodwinked by my boys!
That's all. Oh and I totally screwed up a deadline in my online class and now I have to make all A's just to pass the stupid thing. boo hiss!
I spent two weekends in a row in San Antonio. The first one was lovely and leisurely, the second one was to attend a funeral for DH's grandmother. Although DH initially was opposed to it, I attended and I brought the children. I simply didn't want to miss it, it was just right to let DH's huge extended S.A. family see these grandchildren as it might be a very long time before they see us again. I did skip the Thursday night rosary so I could stay at the hotel and take a Spanish test online. The free wi-fi at Pear Tree Inn was jumpy and slow, I almost had a heart attack, but I met the deadline with 20 minutes to spare. At the funeral, managing two toddlers in a church wasn't exactly smooth sailing, but I did it with more grace than usual, as I do when people are watching, and ALL by myself, because DH was a pallbearer. I remember that I kept looking down at my lap and thinking, "thank goodness my skirt has a built-in slip!" So I completely missed the substance of the ceremony, but it's not about me, it's all about showing up and representing the beautiful family that wouldn't have existed without "Little Grandma." I was so moved by the emotion displayed by los tios. This death marks a big change in that family.
I was absolutely drained and still wearing heels on the five hour drive home immediately following the reception. But I went out to meet friends in town after arriving home at 10 PM. It really was nice to see them, but going out wasn't my best decision. I couldn't restrain myself, I mean, my phone never fucking rings, so how am I going to miss an opportunity to go hang out with adults who are actually friends of mine, not of DH's? I was tired, the place was terribly loud, few places to sit comfortably, full of young suburbanites and beyond boring if not for the company I roll with. I was dying to suggest another cooler place, but I held my tongue as it was already late and I didn't want to sound controlling or rude to the one local person who had suggested it. Hopefully, I will see everyone again during OU/TX weekend and we'll all go somewhere cool...closer to downtown, like last year.
Victoria's Secret sucks at bra sizing, and I knew this because something has been up with those demi-cups that only work when I am standing still, but I was in denial. I finally went to get a real bra sizing at Nordstrom. Not only have I been wearing the entirely wrong bra size since I quit nursing in 2007, but I have been wearing the wrong band size for likely my whole post-adolesence! And on top of that, I am a HTF size, so you can't just go pick one up. Great!! The ugly and correctly sized bra that the associate "put" me into did fit beautifully, even while touching my toes, but all the cute bras could only be found in popular sizes; 32A, 34B, 36C. WTF. So my choices are to either have alterations or find a good brand and purchase on the internet. Hassles!
Do all two of you remember the weird water guy who doesn't know who the heck I am even though I have been a customer since 2001? Well, I found an opp to call him out, as I love to do, the last time I was in. He asked if I had an account and I said, "uh Yeaaahh, I have only been coming here for oh, 7 years or so.." I smiled big and blinked at him. I was about to remind him that of some of the topics we've discussed in recent years, like The Muppets Show on DVD, Lost, Scrubs, being 8 years younger than me...I was about to remind him that he somehow always knows who DH is, even though DH runs this errand only about once a year! But before I could say anything, he went a little chirpy on me. Said he was sorry several times, said "I know, I know, I am so uhm ...forgetful, I don't know why I just said that, um..." and I suddenly felt bad because obviously he wasn't prepared to volley with me. I tried to mirror him and give him a break by admitting that I was forgetful too and hey, the modern world and all it's technological distractions (forgetting for a moment that the kid is always on two computers behind the counter, one for online game playing, one for watching his favorite shows). He got weird, actually happy, looking me in the eye and eager to converse, he began discussing the amazing adaptability of certain species and biology and how there is a cure out there somewhere for everything, it was a jumbled sequence of sentences. I smiled and listened, adding a quip here and there, very amused, though wondering why I chose today to have opened this can of worms. Why couldn't I just have left it alone, avoided eye contact and told him my account name, talked about the hot weather, said thank you and moved on like every other time? Anyway, I have since decided that this kid is just shy and has no clue how to talk to women. Someday I should write about the Target cashier who told me all about the musical composers for major video games. Smile, nod, tell him I really know nothing about that, yet continue to listen to endless elaboration... It would be great SNL material.
The fam and I also caught a Rough Riders game in Frisco in the lawn seats with another family with young kids. The people in the lawn seats RULE! And I actually drank beer. The bottles served at this ballpark are quite attractive, the children couldn't resist taking the empties and stuffing them down each others shirts and calling themselves, "firemen!" By that time, the people in the lawn already felt like family, so we avoided feeling too shamed for such poor parenting.
My mother was in town for a few days and I took her and my children to visit my cousin and her new baby. I had already spent several hours helping my cousin while she and baby were at the hospital, so I kept this visit short. Mom also watched the boys for an afternoon while I was at the LRC. They ran all over her. She described her day and I laughed upon hearing everything I knew to be their typical boy behavior. You would think she would be prepared for that, but somehow, she is always hoodwinked by my boys!
That's all. Oh and I totally screwed up a deadline in my online class and now I have to make all A's just to pass the stupid thing. boo hiss!
Wednesday, July 2, 2008
retail therapy and ebay woes
It's July already and I am feeling a little stuck in time. I had hoped to have so much more accomplished by now, but I know what happened and why. Without giving too much away, I became seriously sidetracked by an idea and I am amazed at how the situation in my silly-head parallels the situation in June 2007. Maybe I should start catching up on my astrology, something emotional, romantic and insane must be going on with the planets for me when Summer hits!! Words are so powerful. If not for a compliment given to me in a sequence of 16 words, my head would be relatively clear right now. I suppose I am easily flattered when it comes in bold form.
I have been humbled by selling on ebay. I rarely sell on my ebay account. But I became overly ambitious one day two weeks ago as my youngest son's 2nd birthday loomed and I decided to immediately clear away some baby gear by way of ebay auctions. I listed 8 items in one day, while basically placing the kids in front of Disney DVD's and Noggin all day! The house was a mess...okay, well more of a mess than normal. I believe that on that day, I picked up fast food for two meals. Anyway, it was not something I will take on in that way again. Silly me, I didn't realize that USPS shipping costs on large items like an exersaucer is ridiculously expensive. I underestimated the shipping cost, or actually, the dimensions of the box (which I hadn't even found yet). Well, after buying an $8 box, I realized that USPS was not going to work and that I basically could not afford to sell the item to the buyer afterall. I sent her a refund and an apology, with a humble offer to continue with the sale if I could charge her to ship the thing via DHL...which was a great deal on DH's business account, but still twice as much as the buyer was quoted. The buyer still wanted the item, so she paid again with the new amount and I sent it with DH the next business day and it's outta my hair! Now I wait for her to tarnish my rep with some negative feedback. Even though she got this thing for a STEAL! I later find tons of people locally on craigslist who are asking upwards of $50 for this particular exersaucer. I sold it for $12...minus the flippin' $8 BOX!!!!
The good news is, all the other items were shipped within my shipping estimations and a few items sold for better than expected. All in all, I think I made out better than I would have in a garage sale. But the whole shipping mess with all of it was a mess I don't want to do anymore. I will be listing really big items like carseat, stroller and pack-n-play on craigslist, priced to sell. I am seriously tempted to just haul it all to Goodwill as it's just 1/2 mile from my home, but I could use the extra cash.
I am on a mission for black strappy heeled sandals. I realized last month, while dressing nice for an anniversary date, that I had NO black heeled sandals! I donated my old ones probably last Fall. They were hard to part with, as they were adorable and had been such the go-to shoe for so long. I hadn't bought any other black strappies because I hadn't needed anything else! But they were worn, the weather was cold, I rarely go out, so I told myself to let them go and I would be on the lookout for another pair. Then I completely forgot. I have to buy the BEST ones out there, so I went to zappos.com and a few other sites and now have a list of about 5 that were perfect enough to choose from. I also checked out places I never shop, like Ross, Marshalls and TJMaxx, because DH had the kids one afternoon. I didn't find perfect black strappies, but I did find perfect casual brown leather flips and a brown leather pair of wedges.
Then on a whim, after taking ANOTHER look at these fabulous shoes that were being showcased on a blog, I drank a glass of wine and suddenly I just HAD to buy the last pair in my size of powder blue platform stiletto peep-toes at 6pm.com for 1/2 of original retail. I LOVE THEM, but I truly have nowhere to wear them appropriately and nothing that really goes with them. Still, they are beautiful and sexy and bold and they make me happy to look at and imagine myself out in public in them. I'll be 6 inches taller, which I remember from earlier days is an eye-opening experience to little me, a 5'3 girl who generally doesn't have a reason to wear heels anymore.
So what have I learned this summer? That decluttering 4 years of accumulation doesn't happen in a month unless you truly just haul it away in a truck. This process is going to take a while, the whole ebay experience is bittersweet because it did feel awesome to rid myself of a few big items, but the process took time away from my kids and took quite a bit of energy from myself. Babysteps are the way to go. Now, if I could just allow myself to have patience and let go of the crash and burn ambition that seems to come over me in cycles.
~Peace
Thursday, May 29, 2008
BO's and SHE's
I love acronyms and slang. Such an inner circle thing! This week I have been back on the FlyLady wagon. Keeping my sink shining every night, emptying the dishwasher every morning, doing at least one load of laundry every day. My DH, much less D lately than he should be, is pretty organized, but only aesthetically, if you pull the furniture out, he leaves dustbunnies behind. I want clean and organized, but will only do it if it's done right! See, I am a perfectionist, if I don't have time to do the chore, or all the chores at one time, perfectly, then I become overwhelmed and I procrastinate. This spills over into other aspects of my life. Um, could be why I am still trying to finish college? DH is a BO (Born Organized, thanks FlyLady.net), so he cannot possibly understand why I am this way or explain to me how he is motivated to purposefully work, work, work, do, do, do even if the results aren't perfect. He is also one of the most unimaginative men I know. Perhaps the exact polar opposite of Nart. BO's do not know why they flit around from thing to thing putting things back here and there, they might claim that their parents taught them so, but how does that explain when a sibling doesn't live by the same rules? BO's cannot teach people like me. This brain doesn't re-wire itself overnight just because a BO called me lazy and unmotivated.
Anyway, thanks to FlyLady's inspirational writing (I have known about FlyLady since 2001 and am just now getting serious about it) I have discovered that I am possibly a SHE (sidetracked home executive), I can't get anything done, because when I want to do it, I want to do it all at once. I am learning to take baby steps and create new habits gradually and patiently. My home isn't really that terribly cluttered, but following these guidelines is HARD! So I have been shining the sink every morning (the first steps) and using a timer set for 15 minute intervals to address the kitchen, then the living room, then back to the kitchen, then a 15 min. break. It really works! I got much accomplished in just 45 minutes, who knew?? But yesterday, I got ambitious with the urge to reorganize the cabinet full of cosmetics underneath my sink. I didn't set a timer, I just worked on it while the kids were asleep. I got mostly through, but my project is in limbo until DH brings our label maker back home from the office. Instead of putting the basket of newly organized makeup bags back underneath the sink, I left them out...out of the fear that if I put them away, the same cluttering effect will occur. Madness!
So, here I am blogging when I should be showering, running a few errands, preparing gift for my cousin's baby shower on Saturday all before I pick up the kids this afternoon from the two-day a week parents-day-out program.
Next blog, maybe I will set a timer...
Anyway, thanks to FlyLady's inspirational writing (I have known about FlyLady since 2001 and am just now getting serious about it) I have discovered that I am possibly a SHE (sidetracked home executive), I can't get anything done, because when I want to do it, I want to do it all at once. I am learning to take baby steps and create new habits gradually and patiently. My home isn't really that terribly cluttered, but following these guidelines is HARD! So I have been shining the sink every morning (the first steps) and using a timer set for 15 minute intervals to address the kitchen, then the living room, then back to the kitchen, then a 15 min. break. It really works! I got much accomplished in just 45 minutes, who knew?? But yesterday, I got ambitious with the urge to reorganize the cabinet full of cosmetics underneath my sink. I didn't set a timer, I just worked on it while the kids were asleep. I got mostly through, but my project is in limbo until DH brings our label maker back home from the office. Instead of putting the basket of newly organized makeup bags back underneath the sink, I left them out...out of the fear that if I put them away, the same cluttering effect will occur. Madness!
So, here I am blogging when I should be showering, running a few errands, preparing gift for my cousin's baby shower on Saturday all before I pick up the kids this afternoon from the two-day a week parents-day-out program.
Next blog, maybe I will set a timer...
Thursday, May 8, 2008
I still love Robert Downey Jr.
So I was in about sixth grade and ironically, taking a DARE class, when I first heard about the movie, Less Than Zero. I don't think I saw it all the way through, but I knew it had that cute Robert Downey Jr. in it and I thought he looked so good. I already knew who he was and considered him to be underrated, though as an oldest daughter with parents who shielded me from any R rated movie, I hadn't seen many of his films. I am pretty sure I caught Weird Science or The Pick Up Artist on HBO once or twice and noticed his charm there, and after watching Back To School (hilarious movie, BTW) over and over, I definitely had a crush on this guy. Anyway, I am rambling on. Less Than Zero put Robert Downey Jr. in the spotlight and I remember just thinking he was the coolest actor evah from then on.
Then he had those crazy arrests in the late 90's through 2001, remember? Didn't he get high and wander into someone's home? I vividly remember his mug shot shown everywhere, even on a local radio talk show billboard labeling him a "loser" for some related promotion, and that televised courtroom plea to a judge where he said, "It's like I have a loaded gun in my mouth and my finger's on the trigger, and I like the taste of the gunmetal". --Thanks Wikipedia,. It was heartbreaking! Oh yeah, and he was on Ally McBeal! I totally loved that! However, I recall feeling like there was no way Hollywood should turn their back on this guy, he seemed like the type who was really humble and vulnerable underneat, so as a fan, in his corner.
Which brings me to today. Now he has been successfully beating his addictions for several years and is back in the buzz. I have seen Downey Jr in the press circuit for the past couple of weeks promoting Iron Man and I have to say, he's even better! Still totally adorable, so my speed, cooler than ever. IMO, this is the cutest guy in Hollywood. I usually can't stand hero action movies, but this one I will see!
Then he had those crazy arrests in the late 90's through 2001, remember? Didn't he get high and wander into someone's home? I vividly remember his mug shot shown everywhere, even on a local radio talk show billboard labeling him a "loser" for some related promotion, and that televised courtroom plea to a judge where he said, "It's like I have a loaded gun in my mouth and my finger's on the trigger, and I like the taste of the gunmetal". --Thanks Wikipedia,
Which brings me to today. Now he has been successfully beating his addictions for several years and is back in the buzz. I have seen Downey Jr in the press circuit for the past couple of weeks promoting Iron Man and I have to say, he's even better! Still totally adorable, so my speed, cooler than ever. IMO, this is the cutest guy in Hollywood. I usually can't stand hero action movies, but this one I will see!
Thursday, April 10, 2008
shopping, breaking those eggshells
I had a 30% off coupon with use of my Gap Card only available for a few days. So I trekked up to Gap and BabyGap to spend some dough. I spent $287 on both myself and both of the boys. The original total was $410, so I was thinking I did pretty well. I am not employed, so I do the banking in the family and I knew we were in good shape for me to start replenishing mine and my childrens wardrobes.
DH totally freaked out and became ugly. Not because we can't afford this. His reasons are more about control. I know that if I spent $50 on clothes a week for 6 weeks, he would never blink an eye and would probably be happy with every new ONE clothing item I would show him each week, but I don't have time to try and shop every week just to walk on eggshells and pretend that clothes don't cost money we notice. He apologized after he left and calmed down while taking Beeb to T-Ball practice. Meanwhile, after defending myself and standing my ground (I rarely cry anymore, it makes him worse anyway as he hates weakness) my heartrate was up, I felt like vomiting, and even now, my muscles remain tense for the rest of the entire evening. As he already returned with Beeb hours ago, he now sleeps soundly and without any tension, because nobody ever says disparaging things to him, nobody verbally attacks him, nobody constantly criticizes him, so he must be perfect and right with the world. People who get yelled at are the ones who suck, in his world, the blame the victim stuff of genius.
Why am I strong enough to endure this shit and yet not strong enough to tough out my Spanish class that I just dropped? There should be some sort of Communications Degree for still fighting fair after 8 years.
DH totally freaked out and became ugly. Not because we can't afford this. His reasons are more about control. I know that if I spent $50 on clothes a week for 6 weeks, he would never blink an eye and would probably be happy with every new ONE clothing item I would show him each week, but I don't have time to try and shop every week just to walk on eggshells and pretend that clothes don't cost money we notice. He apologized after he left and calmed down while taking Beeb to T-Ball practice. Meanwhile, after defending myself and standing my ground (I rarely cry anymore, it makes him worse anyway as he hates weakness) my heartrate was up, I felt like vomiting, and even now, my muscles remain tense for the rest of the entire evening. As he already returned with Beeb hours ago, he now sleeps soundly and without any tension, because nobody ever says disparaging things to him, nobody verbally attacks him, nobody constantly criticizes him, so he must be perfect and right with the world. People who get yelled at are the ones who suck, in his world, the blame the victim stuff of genius.
Why am I strong enough to endure this shit and yet not strong enough to tough out my Spanish class that I just dropped? There should be some sort of Communications Degree for still fighting fair after 8 years.
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